“And I’m from the east side of America where we desensitize by hysteria”
Let’s ignore the “east side of America” for now and focus on the important part.
You see, I still have this wonderfully stupid tendency to get really emotional and overthink the tiniest little problems. Obviously I then lose control of the bigger picture and am stuck in an echo chamber of my own creation. Wanting to get out of this self-imposed prison, I become “hysterical” on the inside and panic.
This then leads to something that I would say resembles “desensitization”. I become cynical and disillusioned with whatever I am currently working on because I fear the mass hysteria within me. This might also be projected outwards as anxiousness or just plain irritability.
To battle this, I have been working with a therapist and I am getting significantly better through the practice of gratitude and careful discipline when I feel the onset of this internal hysteria. I don’t let the hysteria take over and thus lead to desensitization. I need to think things through, but I can’t let them take control in the form of hysteria.
After all, it’s much easier to get angry on the inside than to ACTUALLY start working out on a solution to a problem.
I don’t know exactly what they meant when they wrote that line but I feel it’s something like “In the east, we use the hysteria as a way to desensitize ourselves and not face the demons within ourselves.”
I no longer want to do that.